HAINICA MAGAZINE | EDUCATION, FAMILY & PSYCHOLOGY | OCTOBER 2026
Third investigation in Hainica Magazine’s series on childhood behaviour, diagnostic judgment and the responsibilities of adults.
INTERNATIONAL — When a child insults a teacher, refuses to follow instructions or attempts to intimidate an adult, attention often turns immediately to the child. Is this a problem of discipline? Emotional distress? An underlying developmental condition? Could it be Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)?
Those questions can be appropriate. But there is another one that deserves serious consideration: Where did the child learn that this was an acceptable way to treat another person?
Children do not learn about human relationships only through the rules adults give them. They also watch how adults actually behave. A child may be told to show respect while observing a caregiver mock, insult or intimidate another family member. The contradiction matters: the behaviour being demonstrated may be more memorable than the instruction being delivered.
The behaviour children observe
Psychologist Albert Bandura’s research helped establish observational learning as a central mechanism through which people acquire behaviour. In his well-known experiments with Dorothea Ross and Sheila A. Ross, children who observed adults behaving aggressively toward an inflatable doll were more likely to reproduce similar actions in an experimental setting.
These experiments do not establish that every aggressive child learned the behaviour at home. They do demonstrate something more limited and useful: a child can acquire a behavioural response by watching another person use it.
Consider a household in which disagreements regularly escalate into shouting, insults or intimidation. A child may come to associate conflict with domination rather than negotiation. When frustrated at school, the child might try a similar response. That possibility is a subject for evaluation, not a conclusion that can be drawn from one incident.
When family interactions reinforce conflict
Observation is only part of the picture. Behaviour is also shaped by what happens after it occurs. Research on coercive family processes has examined cycles in which a child escalates resistance, an adult responds more harshly, and the conflict continues until someone gives way.
Imagine that a child refuses a routine task. A caregiver repeats the instruction; the child shouts; the caregiver abandons the task to stop the argument. If that sequence happens repeatedly, the child may learn that escalation helps avoid unwanted demands. Adults may also learn to use threats or angry responses to obtain immediate compliance. Both sides can reinforce a difficult interaction pattern.
Longitudinal work on coercive family processes has found associations between such interactions and the development of conduct problems. Association is not proof that a particular family caused a particular child’s behaviour. It is a reason for evaluators to examine interactions rather than assuming that the child alone explains them.
A second environment: the classroom
Teachers encounter children with different experiences, expectations and learned responses. Some students may interpret disagreement as a conversation; others may respond with withdrawal, argument or verbal aggression. A teacher who receives an insult may be confronting a behaviour shaped outside the classroom.
However, the educational environment must also be examined. Unclear expectations, inconsistent rules, humiliating discipline and repeated confrontations can aggravate conflict. Conversely, predictable limits, engaging instruction and respectful communication can help students practice better ways of disagreeing.
Questioning an instruction is not the same as insulting the person who gives it. Schools should protect a child’s right to ask why while also protecting teachers and classmates from harassment and intimidation.
Does a learned behaviour rule out a clinical disorder?
No. ODD is a recognized clinical category involving persistent patterns of irritability, argumentative or defiant behaviour, or vindictiveness associated with meaningful impairment or distress. Ordinary disagreement, or a single refusal to sit down, does not meet that threshold.
Family environment, neurodevelopmental factors, emotional difficulties and other influences can coexist. Observing learned conflict behaviour does not automatically rule out a clinical condition; having a diagnosis does not mean that the child’s environment is irrelevant.
Professional guidance from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention supports the consideration of multiple contributing factors and the use of evidence-based family and behavioural interventions.
The task of assessment is to distinguish possibilities without allowing one explanation to erase all the others.
Parental responsibility is not automatic parental blame
Parents and caregivers help establish what children come to regard as ordinary communication. If adults model respectful disagreement, they give children an opportunity to observe it. If adults normalize humiliation or intimidation, those behaviours may become available models as well.
Yet a child who insults a teacher cannot be assumed to come from a hostile household. Likewise, parents who establish stable and respectful environments may still encounter serious behavioural difficulties. Temperament, peers, school conditions, disability, stress and other circumstances can also matter.
A more responsible question is not “Which parent is guilty?” but “What patterns has the child been exposed to, which responses are being reinforced, and what could realistically change?”
What should investigators evaluate?
Hainica Magazine proposes five dimensions for further independent research. They are questions for evaluating the assessment process, not a diagnostic instrument.
- Observational learning. How do significant adults and peers express disagreement? What models of conflict resolution does the child regularly witness?
- Behavioural consequences. What happens when the child refuses, insults, cooperates or negotiates? Are any responses inadvertently reinforcing escalation?
- Family communication. How are apology, frustration, boundaries and respect handled in everyday relationships?
- Educational interaction. Are instructions clear and consistent? Are students meaningfully engaged? Are teachers equipped to manage conflict without humiliation?
- Clinical differentiation. Does the behaviour meet established clinical criteria after developmental, emotional, family, educational and other relevant factors have been assessed?
A credible investigation would draw on information from multiple sources, repeated observations where appropriate and the child’s own perspective. It would avoid treating a single adult account as conclusive.
Culture matters, but stereotypes are not evidence
Expectations about authority, communication and respect vary across communities. Such differences should make evaluation more culturally informed, not more prejudicial. It would be scientifically unjustified to describe a cultural group as producing more defiant children without comparable measures of actual behaviour, impairment, educational context and access to care.
Previous investigations in this series have examined the limits of diagnostic consistency and the difficulty of comparing recorded behavioural diagnoses across populations. This third investigation adds observational learning and reciprocal family interactions to that discussion.
Adults must also be willing to change
Helping children develop accountability does not require treating them as incapable of independent thought. They can reason, notice contradictions, negotiate, test boundaries and learn what gets a response.
Adults, meanwhile, have responsibilities that extend beyond giving instructions. Caregivers must model the respect they request. Teachers must maintain boundaries without automatically equating questions with disrespect. Clinicians must examine context before reaching conclusions.
Before asking why a child disrespects a teacher, ask how that child has learned to express disagreement. Before demanding respect from children, adults should examine the respect they demonstrate themselves.
Sources and further reading
- Bandura, A., Ross, D., & Ross, S. A. (1961). Transmission of aggression through imitation of aggressive models. Read the study.
- Coercive family process and early-onset conduct problems from age 2 to school entry (longitudinal family research). Read the research.
- U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Behavior or Conduct Problems in Children. Read the guidance.
- U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Treating Children’s Mental Health with Therapy. Read the guidance.
- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Read the clinical overview.
Editorial disclosure: This article reviews established research and proposes questions for further investigation. It does not present original clinical findings, diagnose any child or claim that family behaviour explains every case of ODD.
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